Berthold City "Where Did We Go Wrong?"
Photo at Hello Village taken by Fusillo
Playing heavy music is like tapping into a raw, unfiltered version of yourself.
It’s not just about the speed, aggression, or volume—it’s the pure release of everything that is trapped (or perceived as trapped.) There’s freedom in it; every note is a punch, every movement is an exhalation, and everyone moves with the same rhythm and heartbeat.
It can be exhausting and tiring, and quite frankly, a lot of work, energy, and money is spent to continue an artform that feels lost. People are looking for the calm precision of electronic dance music or the capability of alt-country.
Music video Directed and Produced by John M. Jenkins as part of the full-length Album "Where Did We Go Wrong?" by Berthold City. Streaming now.
For years I’d left the spotlight of heading up a band. Being the singer and all of the pressure, duties, and exhaustion that come with singing, performing, and being the first point of contact for the band. It felt great to unshackle myself from that burden. Yet, a funny thing happened a few weeks ago as Berthold City released our newest record. We were practicing, and Andrew (the singer) asked me to show him a bassline. I thought he was trying to show me that I was playing it wrong, but he intended to grab the bass, and I take the mic during my extended backups in the song “Still Holding On.”
Photo at Hello Village taken by Fusillo
It was a kind gesture, but I mentioned he didn’t need to. I had forgotten, and when we hit that part of the song, he sorta said, “wanna do it?” without saying it. It was a wild feeling. It connected in a different way than I’d felt in years. Nothing overly special happened. It just felt different. I’m thankful for that moment.
Photo at Hello Village taken by Fusillo
Goodbye Oakland A's
New York City in January 2023
New York City. The Big apple.
The city that never sleeps.
Always bustling with energy and excitement.
In January 2023, my family and I decided to take a trip to the city and experience its magic.
We were not disappointed. From the Brooklyn Bridge to the Empire State Building, from the DUMBO to Rockefeller Plaza, we saw it all… Well, not “it all” but a lot of it.
The view of the Manhattan skyline from our hotel room was breathtaking, and we took plenty of photos to capture that. The cold weather, light rain and even snow flurries did not dampen our spirits as we enjoyed the sights and sounds of the city. Walking down Broadway and through the streets of SOHO.
We spent some time in DUMBO, a neighborhood in Brooklyn that is home to some of the best views of Manhattan. We strolled through the cobblestone streets, stopping at cafes and shops along the way.
We visited Central Park where my wife and I got engaged, making it a special place for us. The park is a peaceful oasis in the midst of the city, with beautiful gardens, lakes, and waterfalls. Although we only had a few minutes to spend we walked into the park past the “imagine” plaque and took in the majestic beauty of the lake spending a moment to reflect on our journey together.
We also visited the Empire State Building and Rockefeller Plaza, two iconic landmarks that are a must-see for our young visitors to New York City.
We rode the subway to get around the city, and it was an experience in itself. The subway system is vast and efficient. And quite honestly one of the most interesting attractions to our boys. As we’d ask “Where do you want to go? That’s a long subway ride!” And they were always up for it.
Despite the cold weather, rain and snow, we made the best of our trip to the Big Apple. The city that never sleeps. The empire state of mind. New York City has a way of captivating first time visitors with its energy and charm, and we were no exception. We left the city with memories our boys will have that will last a lifetime. We’ll be back someday and experience it all over again.
Process 019: Crafting Sacred Artwork in a Digital Medium
Without losing sight of the fact that I only produced one Process film in all of 2022. I’d like to mention that two months ago (December 2022) I finished a film about the fleeting nature of my medium. The difference between analog and digital. The perceived permanence of a tactile element and my perceived loss in creating visual art in a digital world.
This sounds extremely heady… I get that. For some time now I’ve been grappling with the notion that all of the work I’ve made in my life… Probably tens of thousands of final video files. Have all been lost to the sands of the digital space. You can watch tickers and stats of how many YouTube videos are uploaded every minute. EVERY MINUTE (500 hours worth).
It’s so hard to continue to invest interest in making this kind of work without hearing a constant refrain in the back of your head. “You’re not that good at this, there are others who have more time, more effort, more creative ability, a better voice, a better point of view…. Plus, who cares. There are 499 hours and 58 minutes worth of other work uploaded. What do you matter?”
The real kick of the whole thing is that even after reading all of that. Internalizing it. Realizing that even those who are perceived as my best friends don’t share my work, celebrate it, or even just open a dialog with me about it. Some of those people openly talk about how much of a waste of time it is. Because there are 499 hours and 58 minutes of other work uploaded this minute. What does it matter?
None of that derails this bizarre innate need to tell stories. Those stories can be as dull and drab as coming to terms with the fact that it’s time to erase our “Pandemic Calendar”. Some of those stories are as intense as what it feels like to finally become a Father…. Either way, the hard drive keeps filling up with stories I’d like to tell without the time or energy to devote to editing those stories.
If you’re reading this and it resonates. Start a conversation with me. I’d love to be able to figure out how to rekindle my love of storytelling in the digital medium. Where can I hold my work sacred so that it feels like an accomplishment, rather than what it currently feels like which is an anchor holding me down from the next project?
Do you want to help? Are you interested in editing, post-production, and storytelling? Do you want to help me take some of these captured scenes and craft stories that resonate personally? Passion projects which have no deadlines, no clients, and no notes sending you back and forth?
LMK.
2022 Year In Review
If you’re questioning the length of time between this post and the previous…. Yes. You are correct. I posted in January and then a year later I posted again. I’m not exactly sure what that means other than to say that 2022 was filled with a lot of change.
We had a lot of adjustments, adaptation, and amending to our lives as 2022 ushered in some brand new things.
I accepted a new full-time position in 2022 and honestly, I didn’t really talk about it much. Over the last eight to ten years I’d been looking for a swift adjustment to my professional career. In 2022 I found that adjustment and have been loving the direction. I’ve been quiet about it in a weird attempt to keep myself from jinxing it… or something…
This has brought big changes to the family, our dynamic, how we operated, and how we made all of this work. With all that said, we adjusted quite well to the change. Which, amongst many other things, brought a lot of new travel to our family. Whether it be me being gone for a few weeks during the year, or sending us overseas to our offsite in Lisbon Portugal. The travel was a welcome change.
So in what likely would be one of the first times I’ve ever said this. I’m sorry to see 2022 go. It was quite a year full of amazing changes to my life and for those of you celebrating that with me. Thank you. For those of you who we didn’t get a chance to see this year, or who we’ve fell out of contact with. Hope we can reconnect on our mutual terms soon…. Happy New Year!
Fight or Flight Desert
It seems like as we deal with wave and wave of this pandemic. That everyone is in a state of fight or flight. Everyone seems more and more agitated, confused, and sometimes just plain angry. I understand much of these’s feelings. However, mine seem to be much more in the “flight” category. I’d like to go outside. Listen to the wind. Throw rocks. Try and get away from the confines of our studio’s and rooms where we’ve spent the last year. Reconnect with what we feel drives us. After noticing the ever rising costs on Airbnb evenings in the desert. I think a lot of other people are having that same reaction. These are a few snaps from our last time out to the desert. Sometime late 2021. Sometime between Summer and the holiday’s. Sometime where we just needed… some time.
4x4x48
Starting off the new year with a bang.
My film "4x4x48" has won Best Cinematography at the Sports Feedback Film Festival.
There was a short interview done on the project and how it came to fruition at the link here:
Interview
All that... AND we've released the film.
If you have a bit of time and want to see some pretty unique people do something a little crazy.
The link is here:
Full Film
Year In Review 2021
This is another year in the life of the Jenkins Family. Although twenty twenty one started with a bit of optimism about the end of a global pandemic. We've all just come to realize that we're going to be dealing with this for a very long time. The holiday's came with a bit of stress as another variant swept through our communities. We spent it seeing small pieces of family and social distancing, while also trying to get on with our lives. Metaphorically and physically bumped and bruised from the year past.
We will ease into the New Year with “hope” as our mantra.
We must have hope.
Process 015: A guide to shopping small
If you’re not aware, you should be aware that I’ve been working on a set of films for a series called “Process” which currently lives on YouTube to CRITICAL acclaim…. from my friends.
If you’re not aware, I feel like you should probably become aware especially if you’re reading this web log entry.
I’m at installment sixteen currently, but this isn’t a post about my most recent film. This is a post about the film that is most pertinent to the season you’re currently in. It’s about looking to people who are trying to do something a little differently. The people who are working hard to plant their seed in the ground and build something from the ground up.
It’s very easy to tag, repost, save, and share what your friends are doing. If they’re producing, creating, teaching or otherwise doing something that comes straight from their soul? I don’t see why you wouldn’t want to make a point to tell them they’re doing great… Regardless of your preconceived opinions.
Do your best to lift others up.
There’s no other way to win.
4x4x48 Official Trailer and Festival Announcement
Very Pleased to finally be able to share the hype trailer for my film 4x4x48.
With a little over a week left before we share the film to the community at Gate 14. I wanted to get people a quick inside look into how absolutely incredible their journey was throughout the weekend.
Admittedly it this specific version of the trailer may be a little over the top. But honestly? Lets f***ing celebrate this thing. Let’s celebrate the human’s that took part in this unbelievable challenge. Let’s celebrate that the story has resonated with others at film festival screenings. Let’s celebrate what we’ve created together. Gaelyn and I are psyched to be a part of this group, we’re psyched to be able to document the journey and excited for what is to come.
I Need To Get Out Festival Acceptance
Well…. This is fun.
After finishing this film a few months back. I decided to shoot it into a few short film festivals and see if there was any chance it would ressonate with anyone else.
I kind of forgot about this as the pandemic raged on and we started with school, new jobs and other life events.
I had just wrapped on a new film and logged in to see if there were any festivals which might be interested in accepting this new film and to my surprise “I Need To Get Out” had been accepted to FOUR festivals.
Unfortunately because life is so weird I missed the
“Best Short Fest” and “Indie Short Fest”.
However, Portland Short Fest is coming up 11/20/2021
And “California Indies” is an online festival which is coming up as well.
All of this is good news for something I found so much fun to create.
Process
For a few years I’ve had this idea to make a series of video’s about the Process. What does that mean? Well, as Frank Costanza would say: “That means whatever the hell you want it to mean.” For me, that means any sort of situation, idea, project, trip or anything otherwise in which I learn something about myself. Do something I’ve never done before or did something I didn’t think could be done.
Process started as a small foldable magazine. The idea was to make a one sheet magazine. A magazine made with one sheet of paper. Include photos and written word and then hand deliver or send out to those on my mailing list.
Process: A Hackneyed Companion
I’ve made three total, but have a fourth which I’ve only sent out to prospective clients for my business.
Either way the process of MAKING a magazine I find to be exhilarating and therapeutic. Something about working with your hands. This translated directly into my interest in making this a more traditional motion picture based project.
Currently I’ve posted about seven episodes. I’m not sure how long this will go on for, though I do have like 6 or 7 more in the pipeline. I am also not adhering to any sort of YouTube algorithm on the best time to post, or who to connect with in order to get more viewers. So… if you have any intertest in what I’m doing over this way, i’d like to emplore you to please hit subscribe even if you have no interest in what I’m doing. It just allows my work to be more broadly seen. On top of that, email me, leave a comment, or say something. All of my projects have always been less about the delivery method and more about the community I’d like to build off the internet. Do you do similar work? Do you have an idea for a Process episode? Do you just like what I’m doing? Say something.
I hope something here resonates with you, and if it doesn’t. I hope you find something that does some day.
Lil Mum "Look at Dis'
So the story goes, late last year we had our youngest son who was desperately seeking some attention. He’d walk around the house asking mama to “look at this”. Eventually this became a bit of a refrain around the house, we were chanting “ooo mama take a look at this mama”.
Now, if you know anything about me, you know that if something like this is at all amusing, well.. I finish the project. By “finish the project” I mean, we write the song, get the song mixed, make a music video, create some merchandise, and press the song onto cassette. Why? Well, because I can. And if I can… I will.
Without further ado, here’s the music video for “Look at Dis” by Lil Mum and links below to purchase at HEAVY discount the merchandise. Seriously though, it’d be great for mother’s day.
The quarter Year report.
As long as I can remember I’ve been involved in making art using the video medium. To be completely honest about it, looking back I’ve been extremely fractured and aloof about how and where my work is presented.
We’ve spent the last year in a self imposed self isolation to keep us and other’s save during the tumultuous year which was twenty twenty. Honestly I had thoughts and hopes that it would change much of our constant day to day life. I thought we’d find more time to take on small projects. Find energy to get in shape, build, make, bake and all of the other things that pretty much everyone thought that they would be able to take care of.
It’s now a year later and we’ve by no means put the pandemic behind us. Yet all I really want to do now is escape. We were incredibly lucky over the past year. We had a finished backyard with plenty of space for all of us to retreat to. We’ve had work that’s been pretty steady throughout the wild year.
The kids never missed a beat with regards to their education and school.
I’ve been trying to motivate myself to make things. Take on projects do more. Do more. Just because it’ll take my brain out of what currently r3netly feels like “pause”.
As we’ve pushed into the new year and have passed my birthday which means that we’re already 1/4 of the way into 2021. I’ve realized what is likely necessary in both my career and creative lives.
I must consolidate and combine. I need to become more streamlined in both my digital existence as well as my physical life.
Less stuff, less clutter, less mess and somehow remind myself to continue this path.
I want my work to move into a much more practical space. I want my art to move into a practical space. When I’m making films or photographs I want them to be treated as a special entity of my being and not lost amongst and algorithm or searching for validation from those who have no way to provide it.
More conversations, more connections, and more collaboration is what I’ll be seeking. Get in touch. Let’s do this together.
I Erased what I wanted to say
I spent the last half hour or so,
Writing some emotionally charged and comforting words
Some how I erased it all.
So here’s a post about that…
I erased what I was going to say.
I Need To Get Out
For whatever reason this project took a few months to come together. I knew I wanted this piece to be a bit of a larger culmination of my abilities, but I wasn’t really sure how to go about taking on the task. I needed my wife’s help to art direct, I needed to write a script. I needed to pull together the footage and tell a narrative around what we were doing when we took the day “out”.
What happens when you make a bigger deal out of your smallest idea’s? For me, I get excited. I get pumped on my creative ability, and it will hopefully open more doors beyond what I get paid to do. This is what I’m taking from my time at home during the last year. Things pop into my head and float there as “good idea’s”. Then they die there without reaching any potential at all. I’m going to hold myself accountable to do more of what my soul tells me to do. What would make me happy, feel fulfilled and also achieve the creative release someone like me thrives on.
I needed to get out.
Year In Review 2020
Well, we’re back here again. It’s been 365 days since last year and we’ve got another Jenkins Family Year In Review to share. I would say I wasn’t sure where this year went, but I think we all know exactly where it went. Honestly, It wasn’t all that bad. We buckled down and sheltered in place. We made a lot of video work. Professionally both my wife and I had stayed busy throughout the 2020 pandemic. The boy’s continued with their elementary schooling. We did our best with the hand that we were dealt. In many ways good things happened to us. We spent more time together. We got a lot of projects done around the house. In other ways, this was likely the hardest year of our lives. All of that is nor here, nor there at this point. We lived through it, and quite honestly the start to 2021 probably won’t be peaches and cream either. We’re doing our best over here to keep ourselves safe, keep our family and extended family safe, and keep our community safe and healthy. I hope you’re doing the same. Here’s to greener pastures up ahead and hopefully some footage that doesn’t include our house and backyard. Thank you 2020 and so long!
Berthold City "What Time Takes"
If you are at all awake during the years twenty twenty you’ve noticed a lot of insanity and crazy changes to life on earth. Berthold City recognized this early on and attempted to create some video content that poked fun at the absurdity that we all found ourselves immersed in.
What better song to do a “Zoom” music video to but “What Time Takes”. When you wake up just realize that all you have is that moment. So quickly the passage of time will take things you love and cherish.
Here’s that visual representation.
On The Inside
Last March the world around us shut down. School was closed, jobs were lost, and most of our entire way of life changed. During this time of change we had the boys at home 100% of the time. (to be frank we still do).
In order to keep a journal and document this weird time in history we created a daily news/variety television show. We produced about 92 consecutive episodes before it was finally enough and we couldn’t keep up.
Even though the year 2020 changed so much for so many of us. It’s still nice to have this visual record and documentation of how this effected our family during this part of our lives. Someday I’m sure I’ll work my way back through all 92 or so episodes and laugh about how/what we did.
http://www.Johneightclip.com/ontheinside